Reflection 101

Reflection : according to wikipedia....
* Introspection, contemplation on one-self (opposite of extrospection)
* Human self-reflection, the process of thoughtful meditation or rumination
Hmm, I began to think, reflection is also a state wherein you need to look back and wander, have you made the right choices, and do these choices made you better, or bad? Or did you just let the moments pass by and don't care???
I am not a religious person but every year when Lenten season is here, this gives me the chance to reflect, repent and look back....
This blog entry is inspired by the fact that I realized things can turn from good, to better,then best, and then....you hit the rock bottom...I have felt that the last 6 months of my life...and believe me, it doesn't feel good..it doesn't.

A few years ago, I have made the right choice, I got a job, I got everything I need.Every single thing for me, is just in a spark,and I felt so good, it felt so right, I can be crazy but still stood to my grounds.
But sometimes, we have to learn things the hard way, am no exception.

What am saying is, I know I did wrong, I did not so good, but I clinged to God.

Lately, I am missing Tatay again, I couldn't function well, cause I have been talking to God, and asked him, why he made my Dad go away just when am ready to do things for myself and prove to him that I can do it? Yes, for many weeks, I refused to pray, I am in the church because my dad was there, but after the wake, and the burial, I refused to go to church.

Human nature,I know, usually when tragedy surfaces, we blame God, not knowing, things happen for a reason, and that it is my dad's fate that he expired that October morning. After he was buried, i was clueless, I resigned 2 months earlier, was about to leave for UK, but things turned, sour, and I may need to postpone it.

I know am not perfect, am not even a regular church goer, but I believe in God, I believe that we are all bound for something or somewhere, as long as we work hard for it and trust ourselves, and trust God, and willingly pray for everything.

Am still clueless, am still around, am still dreaming, am still hoping, after the not so good, and not so bad, things just get better. I know, everything happens for a reason, and I am again reminded how God conspires my world, I am blessed with a family that understands my mood swings, a mom that is my strength and my inspiration, a brother who doesn't say much but willing to do much, a diko, who makes me laugh with his humor, a sister who doesn't get tired of me,aunts who are oh so generous, uncles, who just uplifts me....a dad that is always in my heart. friends, they may not be physically around but, I know I have True friends....

This Lenten season, we may have headed to the beach, went somewhere cooler, enjoyed ourselves and gave ourselves a break, but let us be reminded, to take time to reflect, repent and remember, God understands....He always understands. Be thankful for the blessings, but be more thankful for the trials, these things, makes us stronger. Believe me....

God Bless us all!

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