Monday, December 16

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Sunday, August 28

Saturday, August 22

This is How it Feels



I miss Pinas..and the the family and friends I left behind :(


Now I know what homesickness means....


Miss you all...just saying it makes me cry :(

Tuesday, May 26

Leaving in 7 days




After all the hardwork, tears, and agony of waiting for 5 months....I finally got hold of my visa!!!!

Am leaving 7 days from now....off to London woohoooo

Thank you to everyone who prayed for me and helped me all throughout...especially to my Mom who has been my source of strength and determination...

Thursday, April 30

God it Hurts

After losing my Dad six months ago, yesterday my Grandpa on my mom's side died on his bed due to complications of Buerger's disease, he was 86. A day before his passing, i couldn't sleep, and I kept thinking a lot but cannot do anything. I have been praying that he won't have a hard time, I know it is painful on his end if I can do something about it, I wish I could ease it.
Sometimes the ordeal of this tests, is weakening me, I have always been positive of things and all, but on the other end you are only human and you question things and ask why. My Grandpa is so nice, and was so helpful, and I could never remember if he ever spanked us while we were kids, he just pinched our ears and that's it...that pinch did not even hurt.
I will miss the person who he is, at the time of his death, he has trouble recognizing everyone, but that doesn't matter, I wouldn't forget how he made us all wanted, and important and loved.
Everything must come to an end I know, but it hurts, God it hurts.

I couldn't sleep thinking bout him, and missing my Dad as well.

I came across this poem, and it felt like it talked to me;



God it hurts

I said 'God it hurts'
And God said 'I Know'
I said 'God I cry alot'
And God said 'That's why I gave you tears'
I said 'God I get so depressed'
And God said 'That why I gave you sunshine'
I said god I feel Alone'
And god said 'That's why I gave you loved ones'
I said 'god my loved one is dead'
And God said'I watched mine nailed to the cross'
I said God 'Where are they? '
And God said 'Mine is on my right and yours is in the light.
I said 'God it hurts'
And God said 'I know'

by Amy Louise Kerswell


God it hurts, but I know everything will be OK...

~In Memoriam~
Amado C. Aguila
August 4, 1922- April 29,2009

Thursday, April 9

Reflection 101


Reflection : according to wikipedia....
* Introspection, contemplation on one-self (opposite of extrospection)
* Human self-reflection, the process of thoughtful meditation or rumination
Hmm, I began to think, reflection is also a state wherein you need to look back and wander, have you made the right choices, and do these choices made you better, or bad? Or did you just let the moments pass by and don't care???
I am not a religious person but every year when Lenten season is here, this gives me the chance to reflect, repent and look back....
This blog entry is inspired by the fact that I realized things can turn from good, to better,then best, and then....you hit the rock bottom...I have felt that the last 6 months of my life...and believe me, it doesn't feel good..it doesn't.

A few years ago, I have made the right choice, I got a job, I got everything I need.Every single thing for me, is just in a spark,and I felt so good, it felt so right, I can be crazy but still stood to my grounds.
But sometimes, we have to learn things the hard way, am no exception.

What am saying is, I know I did wrong, I did not so good, but I clinged to God.

Lately, I am missing Tatay again, I couldn't function well, cause I have been talking to God, and asked him, why he made my Dad go away just when am ready to do things for myself and prove to him that I can do it? Yes, for many weeks, I refused to pray, I am in the church because my dad was there, but after the wake, and the burial, I refused to go to church.

Human nature,I know, usually when tragedy surfaces, we blame God, not knowing, things happen for a reason, and that it is my dad's fate that he expired that October morning. After he was buried, i was clueless, I resigned 2 months earlier, was about to leave for UK, but things turned, sour, and I may need to postpone it.

I know am not perfect, am not even a regular church goer, but I believe in God, I believe that we are all bound for something or somewhere, as long as we work hard for it and trust ourselves, and trust God, and willingly pray for everything.

Am still clueless, am still around, am still dreaming, am still hoping, after the not so good, and not so bad, things just get better. I know, everything happens for a reason, and I am again reminded how God conspires my world, I am blessed with a family that understands my mood swings, a mom that is my strength and my inspiration, a brother who doesn't say much but willing to do much, a diko, who makes me laugh with his humor, a sister who doesn't get tired of me,aunts who are oh so generous, uncles, who just uplifts me....a dad that is always in my heart. friends, they may not be physically around but, I know I have True friends....

This Lenten season, we may have headed to the beach, went somewhere cooler, enjoyed ourselves and gave ourselves a break, but let us be reminded, to take time to reflect, repent and remember, God understands....He always understands. Be thankful for the blessings, but be more thankful for the trials, these things, makes us stronger. Believe me....

God Bless us all!

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Sunday, April 5

Handwritting Analysis

Official Handwriting Analysis - Personality Report


This personality profile is based on the writing of Dee Vitto created at the website: Handwriting Wizard.com - Handwriting University's Official automated personality report creator based on standardized basic personality traits as taught through Handwriting University's Certification Level Program.

Dee is moderately outgoing. Her emotions are stirred by sympathy and heart rendering stories. In fact, she can be kind, friendly, affectionate and considerate of others. She has the ability to put herself into the other person's shoes.

Dee will be somewhat moody, with highs and lows. Sometimes she will be happy, the next day she might be sad. She has the unique ability to get along equally well with what psychology calls introverts and extroverts. This is because she is in between. Psychology calls Dee an ambivert. She understands the needs of both types. Although they get along, she will not tolerate anyone that is too "far out." She doesn't sway too far one way or the other.

When convincing her to buy a product or an idea, a heart rendering story could mean a great deal to her. She puts herself in the same situation as the person in the story, yet she will not buy anything that seems overly impractical or illogical. Dee is an expressive person. She outwardly shows her emotions. She may even show traces of tears when hearing a sad story.

Dee is a "middle-of-the-roader," politically as well as logically. She weighs both sides of an issue, sits on the fence, and then will decide when she finally has to. She basically doesn't relate to any far out ideas and usually won't go to the extreme on any issue.

People that write their letters in an average height and average size are moderate in their ability to interact socially. According to the data input, Dee doesn't write too large or too small, indicating a balanced ability to be social and interact with others.

Dee will demand respect and will expect others to treat her with honor and dignity. Dee believes in her ideas and will expect other people to also respect them. She has a lot of pride.

Dee will be candid and direct when expressing her opinion. She will tell them what she thinks if they ask for it, whether they like it or not. So, if they don't really want her opinion, don't ask for it!

Dee has a desire for attention. People around Dee will notice this need. She may fulfill this need by a variety of ways depending on her own character.

Dee has an over-awareness of self. She often feels self-conscious. She fears ridicule, therefore she is careful not to place herself in a position to receive any ridicule. She wonders what people will think if she acts in a certain manner. When encountering a new group of people, Dee may stay on the sidelines until she has the people categorized, or she may behave in a "positive attention getting" manner to assure people think good thoughts about her from the start.

In the sales profession, this self-consciousness is called "call reluctance". They take the word "no" as a personal criticism. Therefore, there is an internal struggle when performing this type of work. Although this person may be a great salesperson, she still feels insecurity. She will perform better if someone else is with her because the fear of ridicule from her peers is far greater than the fear of ridicule from her clients. Many times this type of person becomes a sales trainer, because when she is training, she doesn't have to put herself in a position of being told "no" as often as the salesmen do.

In reference to Dee's mental abilities, she has a very investigating and creating mind. She investigates projects rapidly because she is curious about many things. She gets involved in many projects that seem good at the beginning, but she soon must slow down and look at all the angles. She probably gets too many things going at once. When Dee slows down, then she becomes more creative than before. Since it takes time to be creative, she must slow down to do it. She then decides what projects she has time to finish. Thus she finishes at a slower pace than when she started the project.

She has the best of two kinds of minds. One is the quick investigating mind. The other is the creative mind. Her mind thinks quick and rapidly in the investigative mode. She can learn quicker, investigate more, and think faster. Dee can then switch into her low gear. When she is in the slower mode, she can be creative, remember longer and stack facts in a logical manner. She is more logical this way and can climb mental mountains with a much better grip.

Dee's true self-image is unreasonably low. Someone once told Dee that she wasn't a great and beautiful person, and she believed them. Dee also has a fear that she might fail if she takes large risks. Therefore she resists setting her goals too high, risking failure. She doesn't have the internal confidence that frees her to take risks and chance failure. Dee is capable of accomplishing much more than she is presently achieving. All this relates to her self-esteem. Dee's self-concept is artificially low. Dee will stay in a bad situation much too long... why? Because she is afraid that if she makes a change, it might get worse. It is hard for Dee to plan too far into the future. She kind of takes things on a day to day basis. She may tell you her dreams but she is living in today, with a fear of making a change. No matter how loud she speaks, look at her actions. This is perhaps the biggest single barrier to happiness people not believing in and loving themselves. Dee is an example of someone living with a low self-image, because their innate self-confidence was broken.

Dee will take action on her thoughts. She is positive that her views are correct for her. She has the ability to seem as if she is positively correct when answering a question, even if she does not have the slightest idea of the answer. Dee displays a self-confidence that makes everyone else sure she is correct. She is positive of her own views, but not necessarily stubborn.

Dee is constantly disappointed when trying to reach success. She works very hard, perhaps harder than most, then just before succeeding, something happens that keeps her from success. Often, Dee changes to a second project just before the first one is finished, thus failing to complete the first project. Sometimes she changes because she feels she needs a different challenge. Dee feels dejected. This feeling relates to her failures. This trait is very important in a working situation and in a relationship. She must be handled in a very special way to get the most work from her or to make a relationship last. Concerning this trait, personality modification is available to change her life.



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Mostly true, you can have yours, analyzed at

http://handwritingwizard.com