God it Hurts

After losing my Dad six months ago, yesterday my Grandpa on my mom's side died on his bed due to complications of Buerger's disease, he was 86. A day before his passing, i couldn't sleep, and I kept thinking a lot but cannot do anything. I have been praying that he won't have a hard time, I know it is painful on his end if I can do something about it, I wish I could ease it.
Sometimes the ordeal of this tests, is weakening me, I have always been positive of things and all, but on the other end you are only human and you question things and ask why. My Grandpa is so nice, and was so helpful, and I could never remember if he ever spanked us while we were kids, he just pinched our ears and that's it...that pinch did not even hurt.
I will miss the person who he is, at the time of his death, he has trouble recognizing everyone, but that doesn't matter, I wouldn't forget how he made us all wanted, and important and loved.
Everything must come to an end I know, but it hurts, God it hurts.

I couldn't sleep thinking bout him, and missing my Dad as well.

I came across this poem, and it felt like it talked to me;



God it hurts

I said 'God it hurts'
And God said 'I Know'
I said 'God I cry alot'
And God said 'That's why I gave you tears'
I said 'God I get so depressed'
And God said 'That why I gave you sunshine'
I said god I feel Alone'
And god said 'That's why I gave you loved ones'
I said 'god my loved one is dead'
And God said'I watched mine nailed to the cross'
I said God 'Where are they? '
And God said 'Mine is on my right and yours is in the light.
I said 'God it hurts'
And God said 'I know'

by Amy Louise Kerswell


God it hurts, but I know everything will be OK...

~In Memoriam~
Amado C. Aguila
August 4, 1922- April 29,2009