this song made me mushy today....

I never asked for this feeling
I never thought I would fall
I never knew how I felt
Till the day you were gone
I was lost
I never asked for red roses
I wasn't looking for love
Somehow I let my emotions take hold
And guess what all at once
I'm in love


Oh I miss you so much
I long for your love
It's scares me
Cuz my heart gets so weak
That I can't even breathe
How can you take things so easily
Baby why aren't you missing me

Why did I act like you mattered
It was silly of me to believe
That if I just opened my heart
Things would come naturally
Jokes on me yeah
I did not ask for love letters
So why did you give them to me
How could I let your intentions
Get hold over me
So in love
So naive oh baby


And oh how I hate what you have done
Made me fall so deep in love
Got no cure
You're the only one I want
That I love oh baby

Baby why aren't you missing me
Baby why aren't you missing me


************************************************

nah...am not missin him fyi

i miss my old self....i mean the dyanne that kinda laughs even at the corniest joke..the dyanne that is a strong person, a positive individual even if iam hit by unexpected challenges and whatsoevers.i can stand up and stand straight at that!...i missed the dyanne that is a fighter indeed, nah, not physically fightin with anyone, i mean the dyanne that doesnt quit, the old self that iam.

i miss that, i miss the days when it is not that complicated, probably the best years of my life was spend back when i was in college and an intern, and you don't seem to care bout anything but passing the subjects, and getting along with your patients and of course to people around you....i wish i can turn back the time and once again feel it.

now everything is just just so different...i guess you can say am lost, lost with where iam and totally lost with words to even describe what am feelin. i know i really don't have a big problem, and people especially my friends will just tell me, "hey it's alright" .....but really i feel it, it is not all right, no matter how positive iam about my life and present tribulations, i seem not to fit in, i seem not so happy and i up to now wonder why....

and no matter how i try...it just makes me sad more...
yah i know i can get back to my old self...the one that will try to think more before doin something, and will totally deviate from these negativity.
i hate it when i feel this.
i really hate being this hard on myself and especially i hate it when i feel not so good being the nega person that iam.

i miss my old self, so for now i have to bear with my bitchy self.
i know it's hard....

can't wait to meet the old d once again.