nothing seems right

am just having these weird ideas on my mind, what if's and whatevers....nuthin really i just feel like iam in deep shit, u know what am sayin? well...can't really explain, maybe this is just birthday jitters, again am a year older in 4 days, but not a year wiser...heheh.am starting to think what life ahead will be...if iam doing the right thing, if i really have these goals in my mind and if iam dead set to do it, and really work hard for it..problem is, i really don't know where and when to start.
sometimes i wish i did not go on this decision, i mean i wish i could turn back time and turn he other side, have you ever felt it? i know myself, i do not regret every decision i make, it's just sometimes it is so weird to think that...i wish i knew what could came out of my previous decision..but, of course....it's not like i could preempt things and realize things that instant....
here i go again with my whinings and worries, no, I DO NOT MISS HIM i just wish, things are better presented in my life, things that wouldn't complicate the weird in me.hahaha! yah, i admit am weird,am laughing one time and the next time you see me, i cry like there's no tomorrow.
i just wish my coming birthday won't have to make me cry, because, one person did not remember it, or of they do, well..it's okay...heheh
enough of this melodramatic entry...just wanna blurt out these notions...and my feelings on an early monday......
sheeeeshhhhhhhhhhh.....
am getting old.....i know!