same ground by kitchie nadal

My love,
Its been a long time since i cried
and left you out of the blue.
Its hard leaving you that way whenI never wanted to.
Self-denial is a game
Its strange i never would've
wanted if until there was you.

Because i have learned that love is beyond
what human can imagine,
the more it clears the more i have to let you go.

[Chorus:]
But now i don't understand why im feeling
so bad now when i know it was my idea.
i could've just denied the truth and lied.
but why am i the only one standing stranded
on the same ground?

My love because i have learned that love is a
word gets thrown a little bit too much.
the best excuse to fill the infinite abyss
i never have to if all else fail
would you be there to love me?

when all else fail, would you be brave to see right
through me?


*****************************************************
this is currently the song on my mind right now, by of course none other than one of my favorites ms. kitchie nadal.
sometimes words are so hard to construct and explain what is really in my heart and then it hit me a while ago....if these were the words that i could probably hear from him, i can just only hope.
nope, am not hoping for a so called reconciliation. i just a want clear disclosure, and forgiveness, but how can you forgive a person who has done so much pain the past 5 months? did nothing to even eplain the problems encountered in our so called relationship?
i just wish things are easier to understand now, but as long as i can endure these from the time we were apart, he gave me nothing but blunt answers, and sometimes more questions and doubt if he will ever tell me what have i done to deserve this.
i know in time i will try to pick up the pieces, try to look at things in a better perspective, trust again someone and learn to love again. but like right now, my emotions are in turmoil, i dont even know if i will love someone as much as i love him, and eventually hope that he will be the one in my life forever. right now, i leave things as it is.
right now, i just wanna be alone...and learn my lesson my way, i dont need advice, how rude it may be...i just wanna be able to learn my lesson, my own way, wanna cry once again and blurt everything out and suppress it myself.
right now, i dont wanna trust that much as i trust him.
right now, i feel that i can love as much as i loved him.
right now, am such a sentimental fool and yearning for just peace and inner peace.
right now, am not making any sense again.
sheez.
am just bitter i guess.
bitter that i have to experience this feelin.
i wish you are reading this .....
i just hope you dont feel the pain that iam now feelin.
because if you do feel the way am feelin, i hope you wont die.
why?
because the pain is slowly killing me...killing the strong in me.
i know i cry easily, but i won't give up, never.
i wont be even miserable.
but like i say.....
this too shall pass.

i hope it will be sooner, that i can endure.