have a blessed holy week

i dont actually know what to write...right now my mind is blank...as in...yesterday i was unable to go to work since after waking up from an afternoon nap, i felt dizzy, like the world is swirling around, that i was afraid that it wont stop....thought my day is over in the world, no kidding, never felt like that before, i thought i was gonna pass out, vomit, i didnt felt that bad i dunno what was with me...i just hope that i did everything in my life....i dont like anybody in the house to panic so i just stayed in my room and close my eyes...and cry a bit, i dont really understand....how i feel...all i know is iam just scared.
i slept it off and txted my team leader that i cannot report for work....and to think this is holy week, i remember years ago, the famous rico yan died during holy week at such a tender young age..so i was thinking...is it my time now to go....
i prayed, prayed like it was my last prayer...and i slept it off....
i woke up past 3 and was still breathing, God am i alive!!!!!
and i asked myself, what was that???? is it something to remind me that anytime, i can just step out of this world....and if that is the case, I guess I have a lot to do now that iam alive and kicking...ponder on some thoughts and just live my life to the fullest i guess....lessen the bitterness, be extra careful, be extra patient, be more than kind...whateva! am not like sounding morbid right? i just wanna be able to share how it feels to be thinking and i guess feeling that I had a close encounter with i dunno if it sounds right or wrong, so called "passing away". i feel a lot of things in my body lately, sometimes i dont understand, iam in the medical field but i fear the hospital more so, the doctors, evrytime I have this bad headache, i dont go taking medicines, i just sleep it off...now if something is wrong with me, or if iam sick, i dunno, and i dont wanna know.
am still praying...maybe things are not that worst as i think it is....iam just afraid to know something or am i just paranoid...i just wanna be able to enjoy life, with much happiness and with vigor...i want to be perky, alive and full of dreams....
am such a drama queen...hahaha..but iam serious, i was afraid that i wont be able to blog again after that bout with fear of passing out....
well, for whatever it it's worth, i just hope you have all a blessed holy week, life is yes full of trials and tribulations...and iam not bitter about it, i dont ever question God whatever is happenin in my life, like right now, my Dad is kinda sick, i hear his cry whenevr he has this pain in his lower extremities, if only i can take his pain, i would...my mom is kinda tired of a lot of things, if only i could do evrything for her to ease her burdern at home and at our business.....my work is kinda tiring and full of politics....that i dont wnat to ever step in the office and do my thing....ijust hope things are better, and that we can endure whatever is coming.....
but atleast iam still thankful that iam alive, breathing, have a family although not perfect, is still around and doing evrything as they can possibly can to define what family really is...
i just hope you also realize what holy week is, Jesus gave his life to all of us so that we can be saved.
now if you want me to explain it further....i dont want to.....just pray, and ask Him.