PARANOIA or something.......

i was travelling home last night and wonder about my ex jobs..the jobs where i came from and where iam right now...can't help but wonder how did i get here...from my present job...

i was a bit pissed last night...i made a mistake thinkin that my present trainor is nice contrary to what he has been flaunting the group...he is such a devlish person..nah.....i just think that he is sorta plastic....tupperware..he seems nice but he's such a brutal person when you are at his back.

i know that am not doing good with my mock calls, just because am really finding it hard to saturate evrything that instant and most of the time iam lost with what they are all tellin....but god knows am doin my damn best to know a lot...but he just seem to leave me duh....

last night i sensed that he sense my weakness and my paranoia....he keeps on callin me during recitations, even trying to grade me while am unaware....sometimes things can be critical and it's worst when people can be critical of you.

am not saying am quitting but i guess i have to ready my mind to expect the worse....iam doing okay with my assessment but who knows what will happen with my mock calls....especially now that he kinda conclude that am not fit to be teckkky and troubleshoot....

guess am just paranoid.....duh.....i know i should be....i have been feelin so low about myself the past 3 days...and just because he is such too unpredictable.....if this is not really for me...i mean the job, then so be it...i want to be on the job where iam at ease and comfortable because that is where i do best....