The year that was

2005 for me was one hella year...not really sourgraping and all....it was not so nice but not a bad year after all...i had a lot of flaws, but anyways, i tried to learn from it...and still yearning i guess from the break-up with my ex, and absorbing the fact that i guess iam single now....the right one is just maybe around....hahaha

well looking back, i guess i have matured being a person, from my work, to just being plainly me at home. before, i just cry out when iam in pain, i don't want confrontations and other people feeling bad with what i have to say, i just keep quiet, but now, i can voice out my innermost thoughts, iam not afraid to be true...not withstanding their feelings, i just have to say that iam not feeling so good bout something whateva!

in relationships with the opposite sex, i guess, iam more careful, and more doubtful at the same time, yeah i don't have a lovelife actually, and i don't care, though i think iam old enough to really tie the knot, but what the heck, i was victimized by someone i thought WAS THE ONE....anyways, i had some sort of an admirer, thoug way younger than iam, i guess i still am likable, well if he could have been older than iam....wahehehhe....i guess i just know a lot better now, i know love can be okay and fine but like right now, i guess am not just yet ready to give my all again, i mean i know in time i will find the right one, unless he finds me.....

anyways, track back peeps.....some of my fondest memories and watevas in 2005.......

JANUARY

was a mushy month for me, especially the 17th of this month, was the day i found out, he was not inlove with me anymore. i end up crying so hard, gasping for breath, and calling my officemate sheila and friend marlon all the way in aust just to cry my heart out....and scare them to death that am dying! i remember that day, i can't say anything but really cry and say, afterwards, iam ok, i just wanna cry...i just wanna cry.....heheheh
was also a month where i sob with every love song i can relate to.
don't want to be your friend by nina was a song i cry my heart to.
looking back, makes me smile and wonder now why???
hahah

FEBRUARY

love month but am loveless so, i just became shopaholic and beginning reading again, in between i cry and ring his phone just to say hi...in my thoughts, i end up putting the phone down by the way. i guess, i was just trying to annoy him and make him guilty with what he has done to me, but lloking now,does he care at all??? i guess not!
yeah, am more crazy bout love this month.
you can say that again.

MARCH

this month, i focused on my work more, yeah i still cry in between, i had my first date this month after the break-up...but i guess am not yet that over with him. the guy i dated and me remain friends, and i guess that's it....

APRIL

i tried to pacify myself more, i worked harder, and not missing a day at work, i went out with my friends just to forget that darn guy who ditched me (sourgraping). i blogged more and yeah, apparently am more sentimental..but i guess am better this month, going out, and yeah openly talking bout the break-up but you know in a braver way.
Guess what, the month i was first introduced to the young guy...cradle snatcher!!! hahaha

MAY

i was a travel freak this month.the thing that i missed eversince working night shift, went to lucban for the pahiyas festival with my sis che and my friend chelo, in between went to subic and my friend in bulacan. going out and travelling has been my solace after all the drama in my life,yeah it was pretty expensive but atleast, iam smiling now.

JUNE

i was a mallrat this month, i went out with my office friends and was into movie watching....i was doing okay sometimes there are lapses, well i know its but natural...i also was into music, couldnt sleep off without the headphones on my ears just to listen again to mushy music.
starbucks was becoming a habit for me this month...whenever i dont wanna go home just yet, a starbucks frappucino with my friends just relaxes me.

JULY

was one hectic month..aside from the fact that this was the month my lolo came back from states after being sick, but he's geting better now, and much more stronger here..i became close with my cuz jay after not seeing him for a lot of years, he fell inlove with manila and also met a gf here...we always went out, and really became close as in...i think he is the younger brother that i never had.
went to bolinao pangasinan this month for 3 days with my friends rosey and roda and jay...went crazy after a vodka session but, this vacation was one for the books, i definitely had a time of my life there....the vacation was splendid!

AUGUST

my birth month, though single, loveless, and still a normal employee i had a great dinner with my family, am older i know, and hopefully a lot wiser now.
nothing to really take note of this month....i guess, am still the old sentimental me.
and....still looking forward to another year....

SEPTEMBER

was shopping every pay day, hanging around with rosey after the shift and reading a lot...
you can say, am such a wasted mall rat!
wahahaha!

OCTOBER

nuthin superb or grandeus though it is octoberfest, am not really a heavy beer drinker, but this month was a book month for me, i read a lot of books and went out, shop and shop and went out with friends, watch movies, and eat out, but at the same time, am trying to live my life and looking for my old self...
yeah the old me who is brave and tough...and not that cheesy...hahaha

NOVEMBER

this has been a hectic month as well, jay went back to manila and i became her official alalay, but in a good sense, i was treated in a facial, a back massage, good food, i became a vane person yet, jay was spending it for me hahah...we also went to enchanted kingdom this month with my friends, i also taught him not to trust people too much and that not to give his all when he thinks he is inlove.
at work, things is in topsy turvy, yet...i don't mind...i would love to get out of the company...am just waiting for the right time.

DECEMBER

things has been tough a lot of times, but i survived 2005, the break-up, the hang-ups, the politics of work and all....i am a changed person i guess in some sort of way, my hair is rebonded and straighter, hahah, new look, new perspective....
things will be clearer..i know,
i just know it will
it should....

am smiling better now

happy new year peeps!!!!! let's all hope for a better 2006!!!
peace peeps!!!!

A song to inspire you all..especially to the ladies who are hesrtbroken...i hope my ex gets to read this...one's for you........by Tori Amos

Airplanes Take you away again

Are you flying

Above

where we live

Then I look up a glare in my eyes

Are you having regrets about last night

I'm not but I like rivers that rush in

So then I dove in

Is there trouble ahead

For you the acrobat

I won't push you unless you have a net

You say the word

You know I will find you

Or if you need some timeI don't mind

I don't hold onTo

the tail of your kite

I'm not like the girls that you've known

But I believe I'm worth coming home

to

Kiss away night

This girl only sleeps with butterflies

With butterflies

So go on and fly then boy

Balloons

Look good from on the groundI fear with pins and needles around

We may fall then stumble

Upon a carousel

It could take us anywhere

I'm not like the girls that you've known

But I believe I'm worth coming home to

Kiss away night

This girl only sleeps with butterflies

With butterflies

With butterflies

So go on and fly boy