well, this question just suddenly popped my mind and lately iam feeling the heck of it...i mean am so tired at home, sleeping all day skipping my meals, and have to tend things there, tired at my work and most of the time am just suffocated working, i dunno...
and what's worst is that i feel so bad at myself at this age having doing nothing due to sacrifices i have done just to please that person.....( u know who) if u dont, just take a wild guess.
iam also doing some changes in my blogspot, due to the major change in my personal life the past holidays...and now am thinking so much of how to get out of the country and establish a life on my own with no one to turn to or depend on....well maybe you are all suprised but maybe it is about time that i do these things since iam not getting any younger....
iam just tired of being always in the backseat and not flexing my capacities due to fear or inhibitions and matters that stops me that sometimes when i think about ryt now, i wish i have thought more or think about more....
regrets, maybe but this was my choice what iam now is bcoz of the decisions i have made...what am trying to do now is to just pick up the pieces my torments have become....at the present moment i dunno wats going on my mind i just felt cheated, uncared for and neglected, by the very same person that i truly deeply love.
i did not realize this hurt that much....
i just got tired...
nahhhhhhhhh...dont wanna cry anymore.....been crying most of the time almost evryday of my life the past two weeks...
and when im getting tired...wish i can sleep and forget that i have this lousy life to wake up on to again.... even for a few hours....oh well. watta life...u can say that again.....
allow me to end on this song...made me cry but it gave me a little encouragement and a reason to stay and be happy....
Forgive me for the things
That I never said to you
Forgive me for not knowing
The right words to say, to prove
That I will always be
Devoted to you and me
And if you can’t feel that in my love
Then I’m sorry for not giving you enough
But I’m not sorry for my love
I’m not sorry for my touch
The way it made your hands
Tremble and my heart rush
I would do it all again
Wouldn’t take back a thing, no’cause with you
I’ve lived
A thousand lives in one
And I could never beI could never be
Sorry for love
Well, maybe there’ve been times
That I let you down
Looking back on all those moments
I know that I should have found
Love is to be for you
And now I will promise to you
And if you don’t see that in my eyes
Then I’ll be
Sorry for the rest of my life
But I’m not sorry for my love
I’m not sorry for my touch
The way it made your hands
Tremble and my heart rush
I would do it all again
Wouldn’t take back a thing, no
Cause with you I’ve lived
A thousand lives in one
But I could never be
I could never be
Sorry for love
And we all make mistakes
No matter how hard we try
But hearts can’t only break
When sorry comes all around
Ooh, when sorry comes around
I’m not sorry...For my love
For my touch
I would do it all again
Wouldn’t take back a thing
Cause with you I’ve lived
A thousand lives into one
But I could never be
I could never be
I could never be
I could never be
Sorry for love
my current mood....ranting.....
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