since yesterday i am a bit moodishi dunno, if it's got to do with things arounds me, i feel like i cant trust anyone anymore, a lot of things and circumstances realy gets me hot-headed...am totally irritated with the people around me, that leave me just quiet and just be by myself most of the time.
at home iam usually confined in my room and just reading, i havent slept that long...maybe just 3 or 4 hour sleep and most of the time i watch tv.i dont talk alot which is a bit un-me...i dunno, i am really irritated and i wonder why i feel this, i hate being such a bitch!!!
i hate everything (mostly) around me....i hate it when i feel this way, sometimes i really feel this way...and i hate it...moodish gurl that iam!
I dunno wats wrong, iam lost iam , so puzzled with the way things are going...with work, with my freinds, at home, and with my sweety...things are so unclear and sometimes i dunno wat to do with my life...my kinda boring life.
as i woke up today i was thinking how far ive gone with my life and yet am not so satisfied..here i go again with my complains...i just don't know what to do..i dunno what my purpose is...i dunno if iam happy with my life, i sure am sometimes..but more often, i feel a lot of bitterness inside, not for someone, or anything, just being myself makes me wanna say "wat the hell is wrong!' i dont understand..i dont know...
i try to smile and look at the brighter side but i just can't...i feel that i cant go on with this anymore...not that im suicidal.iam not gonna do that thing, of course!...i try to be strong and do everything i can...it's just very depressing to be in this state yet you don't know what's bothering you...i feel empty, alone, underachiever...yet am doing evrything, well i think.
perhaps i miss my friends, my true friends back in college, yet cant see them that often...i miss ny simple life then...i dont have to fit in just to be noticed, with my barkada in college i know i can only be myself, right now, i have friends, but my college friends are different they understand me more (i think, again). i miss evrything about myself before...i wanna be able to break free from these initial fears and demons....lately iam such a pain in the neck....yet i dont know what to do....
i wish i have the answers....
am i making sense...
i guess not, my god...wat a life....
so complicated....damn complicated....
my current mood....'unwell...secondary to mood swing apparently due to complicated life and peeps around me' I DONT JUST UNDERSTAND EVRYTHING.......
TILL LATER!
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