I wish I could sleep like this

This is our dog Schumi...
I want to sleep as in doze off that I could REALLY rest....
But lately again, I can't.
Been 2 months and 11 days since I resigned...I think my biological clock should be normal na....and that I should be sleeping at night time...
I can't
I have been sleeping in the wee hours of the morning
But it's been 26 days since my Dad died...
I still miss him
I know missing him will be a part of our everyday life, no matter what
It's just I still cannot believe that he's gone.

Am clueless as well as to what I wanna do
I am set to leave but my mind is not set.
I dunno if it will be a good thing to spend Christmas in London
Or to just stay till I am sure Mum is okay, my sis are ok, my bro is ok
What the heck...am I OK?
Honestly am not.....
++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

BTW it's my Ex's BIRTHDAY....

HAPPY BIRTHDAY PERT
MY Wish???
grow up!