And the Sentimenta Schmuck Returns

This is what usually happens when I have nuthin to do, not able to go out and talk with sense with friends and you're almost broke as a joke.

I was browsing to different sites, made my account on myspace, and used facebook for a week while friendster was down, even tried tagged and chat in their and then I finally used the search button and typed his name....and then I browsed on his site, saw their pictures, and again made some bitter statement.

I am sure my friends are gonna laugh at me, but am way better now compared to before, but it really just hits you, the bitterness, the hurt won't dissapear that easy..and it wont totally leave you because you just so genuinely love the person that you will several times ask why, and what the hell happened.

Pasensya na, am such a sentimental schmuck as I was once been told by my ex, I can never just move on that easy because am always thinking of the happy memories rather than the bad ones. I can say that this is one of my bad habits, I usually get stucked with the memories and never move on real good..I am moving on it's just that I always look for answers and even making sure that I hear his side of the story..ad most of the time I dont see the picture real good..maybe it's my eyes...naive ba ko or talagang tanga ahahaha!!!

Am blogging with a little bit of alcohol on my body, which is a bit weird..am blogging with a heavy heart as well, reliving the memories, hearing the old love songs that I used to love when we were together and also hearing the songs after the bad break up...how jealous Iam when one person finds forever and me when I know for a fact that I can love him more than her yet he still chooses her.

I realized, i dont have to ask...and also I don't have to expect that one person will love me because I love him with all my heart and mind..because that crazy killer feeling won't work until the other chooses to love you back...

Maybe am plagued with self pity or darn bitterness and yea Rihanna may be right when she said ;

Should've never let you enter my door
Next time you wanna go on and leave
I should just let you go on and do it
'Cause now I'm using like I bleed

It's like I checked in to rehab
And baby, you're my disease
It's like I checked in to rehab
And baby, you're my disease

nah nah nah am not drunk again the sentimental shmuck is surfacing....

Crazy that sucker feeling....

I just noticed...I am talking bout him again

And thousand times thinking what the hell happened....

I must quit him!!!!