Unwell little a Just

just read backwards.....

I refuse to be sad and down...yet i am beginning to feel a little bit low...nah make it...really low...sometimes it's just makes no sense yet am beginning to feel such a fake person whenever iam with a group of people...iam smiling and laughing so hard, yet inside am so crying and wanna shout and question...why?
this is not me....i was a very jolly person, i love going out, conversations makes my day, going out and just seizing the day was such a day for me! i was never afraid to fail and learn from those misgivings....
Now I wanna ask why...again...i feel numb and though I wanna do something bout it..it just doesn't make any sense....

I know...just staying this way will not make me any good...

God I miss the old D!!!!