IAM FINDING MYSELF THINKING OF HIM AGAIN

Iam finding myself thinking of him again. I don't understand myself, no matter how hard I convince myself that he is not worth my time and not worth hoping for, he just keepspoppin in my mind. I keep askin why, I keep reminiscin what we had, every word he uttered, every promise he vowed for our love. And all were just broken promises. It is yes, easier said than done I thought Iam over the "crying and still hurting stage". But Iam not. It has been two mos. since we broke up, but I live my every day life still thinking what might have been, what could have been. What is he doing, will he stilll call me, will he make me understand why he suddenly changed? So many questions repetitively ponderingon my present silly mind. I know i have to let him go and accept things as they are. Iam trying, but it's just unfair sometimes that he has to leave it this way....BLANK! Unknowingly, bitter of me, I know I somewhat know the answers, I just need it staright from his mouth. But knowing him and his, unconfrontational egoistic character thathe is, it will probably take forever....
I loved him (and still loveing him, much less than before though, i dunno) and Iam not ashamed loving him unconditionally. I loved evrything about him, even loving the misunderstood in him. For 2 years we had a roller coaster long distance love affair. Ours was not a sweety easy relationship, but I endured and tried hard to sustain our so called love. But I canonly give enough, I needhim to love me too and need me. The last few months befor our break up I find myselfcompeting in his time, work, friends, family and girls (?). And that's it. I have to let go, or I'll just continue hurting. I don't regret everyday of that2 years with sweety. I know we didn't remain friends after the break-up, maybe everything is for the better if not the best.
My only regert with the 2 years we're together is not being able to be vocal, about how I feel, whenever he hurts me me undeliberately, unconsciously,unknowingly...because I always say it's OK, even if it's not just not to quarreland make a big deal out of it. was so afraid having these quareels how petty it may be is such a dangerous sign especially in a long distance relationship like ours. I guess that little hurt turned so big to endure in the process.
What Iam trying to say is, I JUST WISH THIS TIME... he is thinking about me, though not intimately, I hope he realizes things, thinking bout wat he said, the promises, and of course the pain that he caused me. And that he helps me by answering every question he left in my mind and heart....he left with a BLANK!

And how ironic, I hear Tamia's Officially Missing YOu, one of our fave songs. Yeah Iam not denying, I do miss him once in a while. In the bus, while walking alone, in the mall, when Iam watching a movie, especially when I listen to mushy songs. I can only just, miss him. The question remains unanswered, does he miss me?

Sniff...sniff I hope so, even just a bit.....


Awwww, crazy me!!!!!

You can say that again