i had this lousy memoirs this afternoon, well about my ex sweety and some of my few failed relationships, i kinda went back and read my journal just when i cant sleep this pm, from a nyt shift.
and i keep thinking maybe something is wrong with me somehow,somewhere why i had this failed relationships in a moment when i feel that we are at that stage in our relationship(at that tym) that we truly love each other. My first bf was g...and at that moment i kept evrything on my journal from his txts, (yeah, i write evrything on my journal so that even if i erased it on my phone, i can still read it when i feel like reading and feeling the kilig!!!) i know am so young that time, and so ideal that i never evr anticipated that we could have problems in the long run and myt not deal with it positvely.
i admit the first time i was heartbroken i had some lousy thoughtsm to the point that i was telling life is so unfair.....i gave my everything and i know i loved g that time so much to the point that i was so much devastated and that i was telling myself that i dont ever wanna love again....
and then i met sweety....
we were on and off for two years and i knew deep in my heart that he was the one...until, our problem last december...
i admit he is in my mind and heart still.....not that i regret it but sometimes its hust pretty annoying that i know that he hurt me that much and then iam still missing him and wanting to talk to him on the phone practically evryday but i just have to tell myself that it is really over....really over....
i was crying the time i read his cards or letter and some of his emails, we had a lot of fun and we had plans together, i havent deleted any of his txt msgs i saved on my phone, coz when i have to rmember things he said, ill just have to scroll it on my phone.
call me sentimental, but im just having this lousy thoughts and it makes me miss him a bit...i know but it aint easy forgetting maybe in time, i will forget about him totally....i hope
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